If you think this blog post is going to be about the amazing video by DJ Snake and Lil Jon, you’d be partially correct. Because the video is fucking rad. No, really. Watch it. Now. Then you can come back to the blog and read about temples and wat not. Go on, we’ll wait…

Welcome back. Hope you picked up some sweet dance moves.

Ok, where were we? Cambodia. A country filled with such beauty, yet such bullshit and corruption. Luckily I’m not Cambodian, because I would probably be shot for even typing that last part. More on corrupt government and genocide later on.

Cambodia. You sure are pretty. Not to mention you are filled with some of the nicest people I’ve ever encountered (and I know Minnesotans). You rank right up there as one of my favorite countries on our year-long adventure. So, congrats, because there were 16 countries in the running.

We had 3 weeks in this amazing country and started with an adorably colorful Airbnb (that was only $38 a night) in Siem Reap.

It had everything we needed. A cute porch for reading/escaping the hot sun.

And all the colors to wake up to.

So, what’s the main reason to fly into Siem Reap? Angkor Wat. That’s what. 99.9% of the people visiting are here for the temples (especially the one from the shit movie Tomb Raider).

There are thousands of temples around Siem Reap, which is why we decided to hire a guide to show us the best ones and explain all the history so we could sound real educated when talking to strangers. We went with Happy Angkor Wat Tour (not to be confused with their rival tour company, Happy Angkor Tour) and absolutely loved them. Our guide was Sothorn and he was honestly the kindest, most knowledgable person ever. He majored in Cambodian History and is going to grad school for his Masters in English Lit. Smarty. Plus, look how cute he is…

For three days, Sothorn would pick us up bright and early from our Airbnb to explore all the temples and things. First stop, Pre Rup. This temple was built a really long time ago for a king. That can be said for every single temple on our visits. All the fancy things from this temple (and every other temple) were stolen or bombed by jerks. See, this is why we can’t have nice things.

Just a short air-conditioned drive down the road (god, I’m glad we didn’t do this in a tuk tuk) we arrived at East Mebon. Again, really old, built for a king, lots of shit stolen. I’ve discovered that peeps love stealing the golden buddha statues. Best of luck to them. Karma is a bitch.

Cambodia in March/April is balls hot. And since we were visiting temples, I had to dress like a lady and keep my shoulders and knees covered, when all I wanted to do was wear a tank top and shorts like the slutty girl I am. Who’s brilliant idea was it to pack all black? Sweat. Dripping. Everywhere.

The next temple, Neak Poan, I wasn’t blown away by. Truth be told, I was more impressed by the floating walkway to the temple, than the actual temple itself.

We learned a lot of people visit this temple to pray for fertility. And then boom, pregnant. I didn’t pray.

Next up, Preah Khan. A crazy temple filled with massive trees I was totally rooting for.

Yes, I realize the trees are destroying these ancient temples. But it looks so rad. Our guide also explained that the government puts zero effort/money into restoration so things are definitely falling apart and totally not up to safety codes. We found this odd since tourism is such a driving force in Cambodia. Well, turns out the money you pay for your temple pass (which is pretty fucking expensive) doesn’t even go to Cambodia, it goes to Vietnam. Neat.

Our first day we visited six temples. Mic drop. We learned so much. I also learned that cold towels are the best damn thing to help you cool off.

Day 2 of temple tours, was the big one. Angkor Wat. We started with that one first since it’s the biggest clusterfuck of them all. We decided to NOT go for sunrise. Which we are happy about, since it was overcast and you couldn’t see the actual sun rising. But I did find a lovely pic of how many suckers, I mean people, go for it.

No, thank you. We arrived at a reasonable time (8am) and entered from the less crowded east entrance.

We spent almost 3 hours exploring the massive complex, and again, so happy we had our guide to help us navigate. But time to slap a cold towel on my head and move on.

What’s cooler than some ancient ruins? Some ancient ruins hidden in a forest with zero tourists. We zipped off to Ta Nei and we were the only ones there. Yes! The temple itself is in pretty bad condition, because remember, the corrupt Cambodian government doesn’t like spending money on progress. But I still thought it was gorgeous.

Besides Angkor Wat, another super-popular temple is Ta Prohm. But many just call it the Tomb Raider temple. Thanks, Angelina Jolie. Sothorn planned our timing to this temple perfectly. He waited until lunch time when the temple cleared out of the massive tour groups, and that’s when we went in.

The trees are totally squatters here. Taking over every inch of the temple walls. So knotty.

Our last temple of the day was Bayon. And by this point, we were pretty hot, tired and a bit templed-out. But we went. It was crowded with selfie sticks and people ignoring signage that said don’t climb on things. But we had a bit of FaceTime with over 2000 face statues, and then we went home to take a cold shower.

Our last day we drove out of Siem Reap for almost 2 hours and visited Beng Mealea. We beat the tour groups by a matter of minutes. Just as we were finishing up, the sunbrellas and selfie sticks arrived. Phew.

From Beng Mealea we drove another hour to the stilted fishing village of Kompong Kgleang. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

We took an hour and half boat ride through the village and then out into the massive lake where even more people live. In total, there are thousands of people that call this village home. Come wet season, the water is just below their flooring…and they use boats to get everywhere.

We had our last day in Siem Reap to just chill. So we tried to make reservations at our favorite restaurant Haven (which you should totally go to if you ever find yourself in SR), but turns out they are closed on Mondays. And then it started to pour. Which is when we decided to order pizza for delivery and we just sat under our protective awning and ate and aahed at the storm.

After 3 days of temples, we were ready for some lazy beach time. So we hopped on a plane and ventured an hour to the south. We landed in Sihanoukville and then took a ferry the next day out to Koh Rong Samloem. It was amazing. One of the top islands/beaches of my life.

We stayed for 6 nights in an adorable bungalow at Moonlight Resort.

And I’m happy to report, that unlike in Goa, we actually did things other than eat and drink all day.  We woke up and did yoga on the beach (yes, we were those people) and a mat Pilates routine I pulled out of my ass. We walked the entire length of Saracen Bay

We did some more SUP-ing.

We hiked through the jungle to Lazy Beach.

And we went in the water at least 5 times a day.

Our time on the island was amazing. And you know what can make amazing things even more amazing? When one of your BFFs texts you to watch a video. And you realize the wifi is finally working on the remote island. So you watch the video. And you start squealing (even though you aren’t a squealer) because you totally realize she’s getting proposed to in the most amazing way possible. And it’s like the universe (or the Cambodian internet company) realizes you need to FaceTime, so the wifi is super fast for those few minutes as you chat (with a huge smile on your face) with your BFF and her no-longer BF.

Not to be bossy, but you must watch this video. And congrats to Katrina and Doug. Doug should start a freelance business of thinking up clever ways to propose to people.

And just like that, our 6 nights of beach life came to an end.

And as luck would have it, the wind picked up on the day we were set to take the 45-minute boat ride back to the mainland. That’s ok, the ferry on the way here was pretty large and can handle some waves. But the exact opposite size of boat showed up for us on our last day. Awesome. I never thought about drowning or a boat flipping over, except on this boat. I wasn’t the only one. The dude seated in front of me grabbed his life jacket and put it on, looked over my head and goes ‘holy shit! look at those waves!’ Let’s just say, I didn’t look behind me.

But, we made it back to land. Finally. We had some drinks and lunch and then made our way to our accommodation for the night. Patchouly Chill House. I know what you’re thinking. Hippies. And as we were making our way down the questionable dirt road that was flooded, it started to pour. So we dove into another hotel that happened to have a bar. So we waited for the storm to pass…while we drank. Turns out, our place was just two houses down. Oh well.

The next morning, we were due to take a mail van (you read that right) up to Phnom Penh. But Craig felt quite sick. Luckily, we could reschedule our $7 mail truck tickets for the next day and our hotel in Phnom Penh changed our booking for the next day.

We didn’t really feel like spending another night at the chill house, so we went to the bar where we wet our whistles while it was wet outside the other day, and asked for a room. Craig slept, I had lunch (with wine) by myself and took pictures.

The next day Craig felt much better, so we confirmed our mail van was leaving at the time our ticket said. Yep, the van would arrive at the post office at 2:30 and would take us the 4 hours to Phnom Penh. And so we showed up at 2pm at the post office and were told “my mail van already left for the day.”

Um, that is not what you told us. I was on the verge of a hissy fit when they decided to just bring the mail van back so we could hitch a ride. I must say, our travel karma has been pretty good.

For the next four hours, I read and Craig slept.

We arrived around 8pm in Phnom Penh because traffic was a shitshow. We were so happy when we checked into our hotel, Blue Lime, and discovered it was a mini oasis. So peaceful and quiet.

Since the sickness set us back a day, we only had one full day to explore. We knew we really wanted to learn and visit museums related to the genocide that happened in Cambodia in the 70s. Aren’t we super happy/positive tourists? Since The Killing Fields were a bit out of town, we opted to just walk to the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum near our hotel. It was absolutely heart-wrenching.

Here’s the shortened version of all the horrible shit that happened during the 4-year civil war in Cambodia. Pol Pot, the leader of the Khmer Rouge, was a massive dick. He ordered the killings of millions of Cambodians, especially targeting well-educated men and women (and their children). Many were brought to Tuol Sleng, an elementary school that was turned into a prison.

Once there, they were chained to a bed in a tiny cell, tortured, and eventually brought outside of the city, and killed.

Tuol Sleng was one of 200 prisons that did horrible shit like this, day in and day out. 20,000 Cambodians were brought to this prison over the course of the 4 years…and only 12, TWELVE, were not executed. Fuck.

Well, there you have it. Sorta. Aren’t you glad you read this entire blog post?

Granted we ended our time in Cambodia on a bit of a low what with all the genocide tourist stuff, but it’s the sorta thing you can’t just ignore. Even if it’s shitty.

On that note, I absolutely loved our time in Cambodia. I honestly thought it was just going to be Angkor Wat and then…who knows? But I was blown away by the people, the culture, and all the beauty. I can’t recommend this country enough. Just maybe don’t go when it’s balls hot.

Off to Thailand for a month we go…